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Got a fishing story you'd like to share?
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 Educated Docklands Bream - Part 2From: Bruce Phillips "There are a few other things you will need to get used to Sam as you settle in here at Docklands." "To keep the bream junkies coming back, regularly we need to sacrifice a couple of the community members to ensure we keep up the interest of the punters, if you get my drift." "You know what I mean don't you Sam - take one for the team and all that." "Not sure what I mean?" "Well, it's pretty simple Sam, let's not start going all mullet on me here." "On a weekly basis, 20 of the community here have to become - well how do I put this - they have to become no more, sacrificed, mortified, bream fillets, catch of the day, the bend in the rod, the delighted look on the punter's dial, the wriggle in the fishing bag - you with me now?" "OK, now this may seem a little harsh, but if we don't do this Sam, then our little earner - the inner city bream punter, is going to head off to greener pastures. He's going to be resting his bum on the banks of the Patterson River fishing in some stockbroker's back yard in the estates, or he'll be paying parking fines at Brighton Pier so that he can fish and brush shoulders with the yachty set. All because we will have caused him to lose hope. We don't want that to happen Sam." "Hope is the engine of our small but vibrant economy down here at Docklands. Like it's not the people moving into the high rises down here that will keep us going - they wouldn't know what a bream looked like unless it was cut in half, covered in bread crumbs and served with a nice chilled Yarra Valley white. No, they're not going to save our bacon - coz very simply they are not the hunter gatherers - they are the disco set and they live around here so that they can garage the Beemer on Friday night and walk back and forward to King Street for the weekend." "Theirs is not the blue fluoro of the dock lights at night Sam, theirs is the white flicker of the disco ball." "Ours are the punters and if we don't keep the punters happy - they're gone mate, they're off. Like a rocket. And if that happens enough Sam, you know where that leaves us? Up to our gills again in bilge water, Coke bottles and several million litres of Singapore shipping oil. And for you Sam - that means back to the Lakes - back to the drawling accents and talk of the drought and the whingeing about the cattle prices, whereas here you have the inner city life, the cosmopolitan culture." "Here Sam we've made it about as close to the curb side cafe latte set as we can get - but of course, there's a price." "No, it's a well organised system Sam - the Docklands area is under the control of Big Bream - BB for short - and once a week we all go individually into a special snag down by Bolte Bridge and we nominate to BB who we believe should take one for the team in the following week. These are called the nominations." "Then we all vote and the 20 nominations who get the most votes also get to you know - gulp one of Rexy's red hooks so to speak. And that keeps the punters happy, it keeps the money rolling in and keeps us as the vibrant economy that we've become." "How do you avoid nomination?" "Well, that's a difficult one Sam, but I can tell you that being Tasmanian would have helped, and as you're new here I might immediately change my name to Reggie if I were you." (2 July 2003) |
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